Yuki
snow, soundless, at the window side
I am a ghost, said the girl when we met about xxxx before.
When I asked for her name, "I do not have a name." was her answer.
"Since I do not have a name, I am a ghost. You are probably the same." the girl continued.
That is correct.
I am also a ghost.
If a being is able to converse with ghosts, then that being must also be a ghost.
Like I am now.
"Well then, shall we go?"
She said, and I followed.
The girl's steps were so light, she looked completely alive.
"Where will you go?" the girl asked me, as she stopped moving her feet and turned around.
"You can go anywhere. Was there a place you wanted to go to?"
I was lost in thought for a moment.
Where have I gotten to?
What is this place?
Why am I here?
As I stood still, I couldn't help but gaze into the girl's dark eyes.
"Weren't you thinking of going to xxxx?"
The girl had discerned my answer.
When I heard those words, I finally understood what my own role was.
Yes.
I was on my way there.
How could I forget?
For this important matter, I had a reason to live and exist.
It is something I must not forget.
"So, that's that, then."
The girl smiled happily.
I nodded, and expressed my thanks to her.
"Good bye."
The girl disappeared, leaving me by myself.
She had probably returned to her place.
And in the same way, I had to return to my place.
White things were falling from the sky.
Numerous, tiny, fluttering, aqueous crystals.
They fell to the earth and vanished.
It was one of the wonders that filled time and space.
In this world, such wonders were common.
I stood absolutely still.
The passing of time had lost its meaning.
Those wonders of bound cotton continued to fall, one after another.
This shall be my name.
And with that thought, I was a ghost no more.
Current Status : Dying
Thursday, July 31, 2008, 4:40 PM
haven been coming on to upload my daily days in sch because i'm too busy w my work..monday after sch there was no aikido trainin..instead they ran poly 30..i was there was a water girl n recording e ppl who ran everytime...apparently around e 6-7-8 person...there was an extra.............tuesday..crs n drama/acting lessons..no idea y it is in my module as usual..after lesson had to do ideas project for ca3..discuss until 6+ n had to miss aikido trainin..after goin home still had to continue w e project using msn for an online discussion...wednesday..after ideas presentation..had to do games design principle report..to change rules for monopoly..i hav no ideas when my friends asked me so i sms e masses of e aikido club..most of e answers were abt money issues so i had to sms them to forget abt it..den after playtesting e new rules, i rushed off to the aikido clubroom n left my bag there while n went out for lunch with e aiki mates..after lunch we went to e f1 racing briefing n a short interview..i wasn't asked any qns which is thank god..den we returned back to e clubroom to slack n i slept until wee yew or perry dropped something hard on my head n i woke up w a headache..they went to e stadium n did running trainin for poly fifty...i brought my laptop along to do maya spongebob..i couldn't get e mouth to difference in so i gave up...thursday..mornin was illustrator lesson n it was to do our assignment..after tat was games principle..den was scriptwriting lesson..i continued w my maya n illustrator cuz my consultation was over..den haikel smsed me if i wan to go w him to buy icecream..i sms him back tat my lesson ends at 5 n i'm havin consultation..den liling ask me if i wan to buy icecream at mac..so i said yes since its so near..den we walked home all e way from e last gate of e sch across 4 bus stops until we split n i went to take 282 home..den haikel sms me where m i cuz he was waiting at e bridge for me to buy icecream..i was already at e swimming pool bus stop den he was like wat the hell..i was oso wat the hell i did not ask u to wait for me at e bridge n neither did i ask u wait for me to buy icecream..den he was like..u didnt say no..ya but i didnt say yes either???n u didnt even tell me tat ur comin to sch to wait for me either so ur at fault too..den when i reach home he sent a 10 page long sms sayin i always delete his messages n ignoring him n blockin him on sms..just a note..i used to do tat to my secondary sch guys a lot because they always irritate me a lot..n they did not send a 10 page long sms sayin tis n tat either..he was like..watever i don care anymore..well SO DO I.friday..long lesson..after history i accidentally drop my laptop on e ground..WTH..at 3..it was flash test..create jigsaw puzzle n i think i flunked it..cuz mine will autosnap to e grid when u click it once..it sucks tats all i can say..i rush out of e fish tank n went to e aiki clubhouse..den we all went to tiong bahru for dinner..burger king..den i was sitting w e seniors n they keep on de-siaoing me..cuz i got a killer stare n killing aura all e time..den chong hon keep singing songs so i had no choice to laugh because when u see his face..u cant take it at all..hafidz was like shakin my hand when i was tryin to eat my burger n put fries into my mouth..after tat we waited for e 195..den during aiki trainin i got my hakama!!v v v heavy to me..but i cant feel my rolls at all..amazing...den weapon trainin n i kneel down on e wrong number n hit my leg..got a orh cenh..den 7 eleven..i got engrossed in rubics cube..den haikel bought me icecream..i ignored him..den i took bus home n i was so tired..so after bathin i slept...zZzsaturday..today..woke up n intended to go to cut my hair but i waited for half an hour n still not my turn i got pissed so i left e shop..nv goin back there again..den meet up w liling n had icecream at her house..den meet up w jasmine..she broke her shoe..den we went to pek kio cc..missed abel's grading..saw perry n shearn n imran's brown gold grading..i was playin w 3 rubics cube..can do e 1st n 2nd layer but e 3rd apparently i couldnt rmb e steps at all..den went home..took 2 hrs to reach..omg..i could hav finished a lot of things today but for e sake of aikido..no prob eh!now i realised tat there was a dent into e front of my laptop..mayb because of e drop ysd..saw e msg tat liling left me from haikel tat he was so pissed w me because he lost a match..oh yer..i was oso v pissed because my assignments r piling up everyday n i had to do so many things..n aikido trainin oso..could not go for tuesday trainings all e time cuz i hav to rush ideas n my deadlines r all getting closer..in case u didnt notice..i didnt vent my stress on anyone n neither did i sent any rude msgs to anyone either..n u expect me to go buy icecream w u as n when u like..i hav my own life oso n i don like ppl smsin n callin me everyday..n I'M IN DESIGN SCH I HAV A LOT OF ASSIGNMENTS I M NOT LIKE U WHO HAV NO ASSIGNMENTS N CAN GO ANYWHERE U LIKE EVERYDAY..GET IT??!-digimon adventure 02 ep 12-
Go Away.
Sunday, July 27, 2008, 2:17 AM
Yesterday was saturday. i struggled w myself at 8am in e mornin n got out of bed to sch for sports elective. IT WAS E FINAL SESSION!YAY!no more wakin up so early for archery anymore! can sleep in to 12 noon every wk already!!Apparently..haikel said tat he will meet up w me 1st b4 goin to meet w e rest to see their grading..normally my archery ends at 11++ but he said tat he will COME at around 10.30...but it ended early at 10.30 so i went to fc5 n WAITED for him there..n WAITED..n WAITED..n WAITED..for half an hour..i CALLED him around 5 times but he nv replied..wat a jerk...so i got pissed n went to novena to meet up w jas n some others...den we had lunch n went to pek kio cc where they will grade..e kids were so cute when they graded n i took videos of them..den e senior white belts' turns. there were so many white belt graders tat they were spilt into abt 5 or 6 grps to grade. when it was jasmine's turn she was being tortured by e tp guy...it seems tat most tp ppl r violent..good thing i graded on wed already..i was watchin n listenin to thomas' ipod touch during their grading n 70% of his songs r japanese songs..lol..den after all e sp peeps finish gradin we went home..n i slept until 9..i was attacked by mayb several mosquitos because they were many mosquito bites n i'm itchy-ing all over now..y do they only attack me??zzz..those mosquito must hav mutated..baygon doesnt seem to hav any effect on them at all...n i did my clay figure..while watchin tv..e hair made me pek cek already so i decided to continue w e head tmr..its 2.40..i hereby sign off n sleep till 12 tmr..opps its today..*zzz..zzz....zzZZ*
Charge Incomplete.
Friday, July 25, 2008, 10:31 AM
Oh wat do u noe? my dear sister..has taken my battery out again!today!now at tis moment...i'm in sch w 78% of battery life n i'm suppose to last till 6.30! amazing isn't it! idiot. how many times must my sister take out my LAPTOP CHARGER N NV PUT IT BACK INTO MY BAG EH?? i'm goin to attack her tonight when i come back from aikido training with all the techniques tat i had learned - nikkyo, baby cradle, negative of e basic techniques.SHE IS GOIN TO DIE HORRIBLY TONIGHT.OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!
-gradin over*-
Tired + Pissed.
Thursday, July 24, 2008, 7:46 AM
Yay! i did my grading ysd! n i think i passed! Onwards to blue belt n hakama! ugh. money losses. nvm~it was worth it. ysd's grading was like..rushing n rushing n rushing. 1st was the iriminage, i partnered with yizhen, theres e aihami ver...yakuhami ver. n shomenuchi ver. den was the shihonage, e aihami n yakuhami ver...after tat was..ikkyo hav e aihami n shomenuchi ver...finally was tenchinage...e surprise move came here..we were supposed to a urimi turn b4 e tenchinage move..zzzzzzzzzz..den kokyoho after tat....whoo hooo~its over~after tat we had a 1 n 1/2 hr for aikido training consists of only blue belt grading syllabus...yeah~! i was like half dead when we walked out of the dojo. went to 7 eleven den home. i had to go to my sister's workin clinic n wait for her to finish b i can finally go home..tats wat i tot..den she tell me she had to go n top up her card so we walk walk walk walk to the bus interchange den tat MACHINE AT E BUS STATION HANG. den we walk walk walk walk to the mrt control station there to top up her card..den we WALK WALK WALK WALK all the way to the bus stop which is like..20m away................den we went home n i was like 90% dead. i felt so sleepy n hungry when i reached home den i just ate like..2 plates of rice + soup den bathe n sleep...*snore*
Ysd she took my charger out of my bag to charge her laptop n NV PUT BACK INTO MY BAG. n now i'm running low on battery n i hav to survive until 5 pm.
-grading over!*
Act of God.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 9:39 PM
Today was the acting (not tat kind of acting but tat kind of acting ya?) test and i think i flunked it. We can opt for grp or individual if we r self-consious so i opt for individual. some said it was scary because e lecturer keeps staring at u n every one of ur muscles n body parts. apparently i was e 2nd last to go in. when i went in i felt energyless to pull e door close den e lecturer was like "close the door. if ur self consious den y u let e door b open so others can see u." den i was like "oh shit she's in a bad mood." den i acted to b a cat sipping on milk on the floor....den it ended after around...1 min??zzz...it's creepy to me i oso dono y.after tat i went to hav lunch w my friends n we walked all e way to fc4..den i saw karen n jingyi..den i found out tat my classmate was actually the sec sch friend of karen!after lunch we walked back to t3a to do our project work. we had to cracked out our brains just to produce 10 slides for the presentation tmr.after tat haikel keeps askin me to go to hav icecream and apparently since i finished e project work early..i wanted to go for aikido training but my gi is not dry yet so i'm pissed. den haikel keeps sayin y u pang seh me tis sort of talk den i got even more pissed. i sms him back in an extremely angry n irritated tone. YES HAIKEL. I M PISSED, IRRITATED WATEVER.-3 days to grading-
Random.
Monday, July 21, 2008, 9:12 PM
Today. Monday. AIKIDO DAY!!!After enjoying a boring lesson from 9 to 4 which consist of lectures on muscles and skins (sometimes i wonder if tis r all related to my course. i seem to b studyin wierd things.) from 9 -11 and maya from 11-1. After tat i had mac for lunch (i hav been havin mac for lunch on mondays lately.) which cause me to b 5 dollars poorer. den i stare at my computer for 2 hours b4 lesson ends n e teacher bombarded us out of e studio and i went to e foyer at fc 5, sat there for around 10 mins b4 perry(is his name spelled like tat??) came n open e store which contains e mat.At aikido training today, we did e usual stuffs n obstacle rolling. it was FUN. but erm..how do u describe it..when u see tat u had to jump over something-in tis case its someone-u will hav a mindset tat u wont b able to jump over it. i was stuck in front of hafidz for 30 secs b4 i forced myself to jump/roll over him. E nxt person was e same..i stalled a while b4 i can jump over him. After a few person i was to b e obstacle, e smallest obstacle. den they jump, n jump n jump n jump, n jump n still jumping. den 2 people from another grp came to jump over me. complete irritants ya.Oh..our 1st term fee for e dojo usage finished today..meaning i need to pay another 50 bucks to sensei. n 85 dollars for e hakama when we turned blue belt to sandy. i hav a big big big very very big hole in my pocket.Den i met my grpmate who is goin for karate n he reminded me of "WILSON". den wee yew n shearn came to disturb..wee yew keep askin me to introduce my friend to him. dots.tmr hav a acting test..not tat kind of acting..but tat kind of acting ya?u don understand anyway lol..i guess i just act as a cute little kitty for 1 whole min...-5 more days to grading-
Reminders
8:52 AM
To remind myself of the number of deadlines:
1. Flash game movie by nxt nxt wk.
2. 60 card designs by 11th August.
3. Maya by 4th August.
4. Journal entries by end of sem
5. Flash actionscript test nxt wk
6. Monopoly rules change by 31 July
7. Clay model to b sculpture by nxt wk
8. illustrator game character to b done by 8 august.
GEM applications at 8 Oct 1-130, 2-230, 3-330.
i'll prob come on every now n then to add somemore.geez.
Get lost.
Sunday, July 20, 2008, 11:50 PM
My sister likes to blame everything on me. When something goes missing she blames it on me. Den she likes to scream at me for every single thing i do and after an hour or two, she comes back smiley n all tat den jokes w me again. i truely hate tis kind of ppl. U think tat ppl's feelings r not hurt at all?Oh n because i refuse to go n turn on e switch for e aircon half an hour ago, u refuse to lend me any of ur things again.Just go to hell, u ignorant woman.*had a hard time tryin to stop myself from swearing severely on e blog.*
Sunday.
8:35 PM
Sundays. Headache days. i woke up w a headache, had nasi lemak for breakfast and realised tat i had a drama test on tis comin tuesday. Oh shit yes blah blah, den i remembered my grp project for "Wilson" the sporting goods brand and my grp must present it on wed. Den i rmb i hav to show my script to e teacher on thursday. Oh n i had to send e flash-made calculator w cute cute things to Francis by friday. Oh i'm gonna b dead by e end of next wk.
Den i was reminded tat i only hav a few wks to draw out designs for my game prototype, 60 designs. Will i ever live past tis semester??????!?! Anyway i managed to get some research of Wilson done w some help from haikel on msn but he spent half e time distracting me from doing my work. My mother came home and started nagging at me for using e computer everyday playing games. Hey, i'm in games design ya? Yes it's an excuse.While doing my work on my sister's laptop (because my laptop's vista's microsoft office was accidentally uninstalled by me.) i watched Charmed the first season on my own laptop. cried a few times, laughed several n was attacked by a stupid mosquito tat was feeding on my blood all e while...i'm scratching itchy-ly now.
zzz
Saturday, July 19, 2008, 9:00 PM
zzz.i'm kinda pissed at e moment because i couldnt get into a website that allows online direct tv watchin of shows from channels of other countries. As a result, i hav no entertainment for tis very current saturday nite.I slept through tis mornin to 12pm n missed my sports elective but it means tat i will not b attacked by bow strings and get heated under e great big sun, which is a good thing. After i cleared my head, i went to the Jurong Library to return some books which r deadly overdued and came home to suck on a whole box of ice pops while creating my clay figure. I had to destroy e previous clay figure i did by adding water to it. However, it oversoften n turned into a soggy pile of white colour mud. I had to use new clay to build my new figure and my mother described my figure as "da tou wa wa". Whatever. i think tat its pretty good to me..because its not like e previous one i did, tat looks like a zombie to me.zzz..got a headache again..
start of a new beginning.
Thursday, July 17, 2008, 3:24 PM
Teng teng teng teng~
The debut of my new blog. Actually it should be a few days ago but i was kind of busy. Assignments are draining up my lifeforce currently. With another new list of deadlines, i think that i will not have my soul by e end of e semester.
Lately my life consists of :
Firstly, Aikido trainings.
Secondly, assignments & deadlines.
Thirdly, worries abt assignments & deadlines.
Finally, games.
Oh, forgot to add. Tis blog as well. To grumble abt my boring day in sch. I've got to ask liling how to create a new template for tis blog cuz it looks erm..how do u describe it? too square already ya?
Oh well, got to do my assignments..